Autism Story: One for the history books

Nolan likes swimming.  Like many others living with autism, he is drawn to the water.  So, it’s fortunate for him that his school provides pool therapy once per week.  It’s fortunate for me that the therapies are performed at the Mitchell Therapy Pool, which just happens to be located on the Vermont Achievement Center campus where I work.  Nearly every Tuesday I try to sneak down to the pool on the other side of the building to see Nolan, if even for just five minutes.

A couple weeks ago I missed visiting with him, which in itself doesn't man much; I've missed a Tuesday here or there before.  However, I found out later that I would have seen a rather amazing thing, had I visited this one particular swim session.

Ann, our very hard working pool director, is in love with each of the kids in all of our programs.  She has also become attached to the visitors to our pool, including those from outside organizations.  She makes it a point to learn about each one, including their names and a little about them.  Nolan is no exception.

One day when my own student was visiting the pool, Ann shared with me what I missed the previous Tuesday.

As I've found him in the past, Ann told me Nolan was sitting alone at the end of one of the picnic tables enjoying his snack after a usually rigorous swim session.  At the other end sat an anatomical rescue dummy, seated in an upright position, just as a kid enjoying a snack would be after a usually rigorous swim session.  As Ann thumbed through a catalog, she watched Nolan watching the mannequin; his eyes would return to his snack, then back to the dummy, and back again.

Slowly, Nolan inched closer to the mannequin, obviously curious and interested about the new addition to the table.  Ann set the magazine down on the table as she walked away to answer the phone a few feet from the picnic table.  When her attention turned back to my son, she couldn't believe what she saw.

Nolan had slid himself all the way over, and he had placed Ann’s catalog in front of the dummy; his hand was patting the back of the doll and he was turning the magazine’s pages as he repeatedly asked the inanimate object, “Are you okay, baby?”  He thought the adult-sized puppet was a baby!

She was floored by the adorable scene, and I was amazed.  When I told Lori about it later, we were both delighted that this kid, who three years ago couldn't so much as say his name, had now engaged in spontaneous play with a full-sized doll and had acknowledged its presence --- and had read it a book!

Sniffle.

~Jon

Madison's First Sleepover

Even though we have two kids on the spectrum, I don’t talk much about Nolan’s older sister Madison.  Mad (she doesn't care for “Maddie”) was diagnosed with PDD-NOS 2½ years ago, and, while we had our suspicions for some time before, she wasn't diagnosed until she was 6½.  Even though she has autism, honestly, sometimes it’s easy to miss.  Mad is smart, talkative, loving, makes eye contact, does well in school and is relatively independent.

But there are a couple places where her uniqueness shines through.  First of all, she has a nearly eidetic memory, and catches details of a situation at a quick glance.  Yet, while she can recall the weather and exactly what she was wearing on the day we bought our pet mice last year, to get her to remember the morning routine she has been doing for years or focus long enough to find a bright pink piece of paper on an otherwise empty dining room table, and all hope is lost.

Then, there are Madison’s social skills.  I’ll start by saying that Mad is in love with everyone.  In her eyes, there is not an ugly person on this planet, and everyone loves her back.  Why wouldn't they?  To her, all people are perfect and she considers every soul she meets to be a friend.  From our big, gruff, bearded typical Vermont neighbor next door to my boss she met one time in the grocery store, Madison loves all people.

But, to get her to understand the complexities and nuances of childhood relationships, to realize that not everyone wants to hear about her family all the time, or to make her realize kids can have more than one friend at a time, is a full time job.  She has “friends” at school, but not by the same definition we used as kids.  Don’t get me wrong; she knows when someone is being mean to her and there are some she does not like at all.  But we accept that Mad may likely never have a BFF.

Nevertheless, Madison had her first sleepover this past weekend.  We have known “V” and her family for a couple of years now.  We invite them to game days, and we have watched each other’s kids from time to time.  V and Mad are in the same class, and she is the closest thing to a best friend that our daughter has.  V knows that Madison is quirky and can get annoyed sometimes at her chattiness.  Even though they get along well together, I was leery about the event.

That was a pointless worry.  Madison and V had a great time together.  Sure, Madison chatted V’s ears off and had a tendency to get upset at the unfairness of losing a Wii game.  But, when I caught my little kid leading the play activities and had V following her every direction without argument, my apprehension melted away.  Her friend showed up at about 4:30 Saturday, and was still in our house 24 hours later, never once begging for us to rescue her or asking for amnesty.

We worry that she’ll never have long lasting relationships with kids her age.  If the past weekend was any indication, Madison doesn't seem too worried about it.

~Jon